Not-So "Insanely Easy", But Totally Worth It

So we've all see DIY websites with 'super-easy, really cool stuff'.. but does anyone actually make it?

I was using the website stumbleupon.com and wandering my way around the interwebs one day when I came across this website: 31 Insanely Easy and Clever DIY Projects. Some of them are really interesting, and some of them I wonder how/why people ever came up with them.

#17 was the one I was most interested in. Screw Cheap Furniture Knobs into Wood for a Necklace Holder.

... Okay! Sounds easy enough, right?

First things first: wood. My dad is a carpenter. Check!

Knobs: went to a knob store (literally) on Victoria St. in Kitchener. The sell drawer knobs and hangers and hooks and all sorts of the exact thing I was looking for, and they sell them per piece which means that you don't have to buy a set! The knobs were anywhere from $1.50- $5.25 for the ones I got, but I knew I wanted interesting ones.

So now that I have all the things I need, I just put them together, right?

Simple, simple, simple!

Or so they would have you believe. Don't forget, you need to measure to space the knobs correctly because despite the fact that you're putting knobs in wood, there is no need for it to be sloppy. If your piece of wood isn't perfect in length to divide easily by the number of knobs you have, spacing them can become tricky.

Then you have to drill the holes. If your knobs have different screw sizes and lengths then this can become even trickier. Some knobs have bolts on the ends, some have screws that you put through the back of the wood to the front and the knob screws on. Either way, you may need to adjust the ends of your screws and drill different hole sizes into the wood in order that all your knobs fit perfectly, don't wobble and the backs don't stick out. You also need to think about the way in which you want to hang this holder.

For myself, these tasks were somewhat tedious, but easy with the right equipment. Not everyone has a drill press and a hack saw in their basement.

I also wanted to paint mine white, but I didn't want streaks in it, so after drilling the holes, I took it outside and over the span of 3 days I spray painted it with white paint. You have to do this part in steps so that it won't drip. Spray one coat, then let it dry. The next coat, then let it dry.

When it was all finished and the knobs were all put in I hung it on the wall. I love my new necklace holder and I think it is a testament to my dedication to creativity and willingness to work for something I like instead of just buying something that is easy. But truthfully, it was a lot more time consuming and laborious than the "Insanely Easy" DIY project that I was lead to believe it was. Putting nail polish on keys to tell them apart is insanely easy. Using a hack saw to shorten a screw so that you can hang your necklaces in style is not.

The finished project:

“Eggs! Eggs are in Chocolate Cake!”

Literally one of the funniest things I have ever heard is a bit by Bill Cosby on “Chocolate Cake for Breakfast”. I can’t tell you how many times my sister and I had to listen to that on the way to Florida one year because somehow on a family road trip, that is the only thing anyone packed for entertainment in the car, and blue grass country is not an option for 10 hours straight.

Mr. Cosby has the greatest bit on why chocolate cake is okay to eat, or serve to your children, for breakfast.

“Eggs! Eggs are in Chocolate Cake! And milk- oh goody! And wheat- that’s nutrition!”

It’s mostly funny because I DO this... Literally stood in my kitchen one morning and told my boyfriend why it was okay to eat oreo cookies and milk for breakfast.

In case you’re wondering, for protein in either of these breakfasts you should also include bacon. Because bacon makes everything better.

... While I’m Fighting Gravity

I realized this morning while bench pressing my wimpy 40lbs that anyone going to the gym who is not a professional athlete or on their way to being one, is really just fighting gravity.

Ya, ya, there is the whole benefit of a “healthy lifestyle” and losing weight, but again, isn’t that just fighting gravity by losing the mass that pulls you down so hard?

And for people there to bulk up and get huge muscles, what are they really doing? They’re just conditioning their bodies to fight gravity by being able to pick up heavier things. This is, of course, a way to defeat gravity without it affecting them as much as it would someone with smaller muscles.

As far as I am aware though, no human being has ever been able to truly win the battle against gravity, there will always be something heavy enough that a human cannot life it. So what I concluded this morning as I moved on to finish my work out on the bikes is that your shirt is not what is holding you down to this earth, so taking it off in the gym is not going to help you levitate and fly away. Please keep your shirt on while I’m fighting gravity.

Suicidal Rodents and Payback

Twice this week now I have hit or almost hit small, furry friends trying to cross the street.

The first was on Sunday night and I was coming home from work. A possum, who had somehow gotten himself to the middle barrier on the 3- lane highway, discovered he had no way to finish crossing and turned back. I had 3 options: swerve into the cement barricade (which I’ve already done this year), hit the possum, or brake and hit the possum slower. I hit the possum.

The second was a squirrel that decided to skip down the middle of the road and then stop and stare at me. This one I drove right over without hitting it with my tires, and saw it scoot off the road in my rear-view mirror.

The next night I came out of work at 9pm to find that not one, but 4 birds had crapped on my windshield. No other cars in the lot had anything on them. Seriously.

Sans Eggs

So I'm on this detox mission which, if you've read my previous blogs, you already know, and if you haven't, well... now you do.

Anyway, to sum up, the point is to find out what I'm allergic to. So for 3 weeks, I ate chicken, veggies and fruit. It pretty much sucked and the only difference I truly noticed is that my nails started to grow!

So now I'm in the process of bringing things back into my diet in order to see what I react with. So I brought back beef, then vinegar (and most sauces!!) and now I'm on to wheat.

What do you eat that has wheat, but not yeast, and no eggs or milk?

Homemade pancakes!! I found a recipe online for eggless pancakes and I decided I would take the recipe as a suggestion, and go from there.

This is what it ended up looking like:

1/2 cup Almond Milk (Vanilla)
1/2 cup All Purpose Flour
1 tbsp. hemp seeds
1 tsp. Agave nectar (Vanilla)
1 tsp. baking powder
And a pinch of salt.

The recipe called for a 1/4 tsp. of vanilla, but I thought that might be overkill with my ingredients. After I made one pancake, I also added cinnamon to the rest of the batter.

This amount made enough for me, but can easily be doubled (I halved the recipe to come up with this).

Other substitutions you could make:
Vanillla Almond milk could be substituted for other flavours of Almond Milk (Original or Chocolate), Rice milk, or regular milk.
Hemp seeds could be substituted with flaxseeds, chia seeds or fruit.
Agave nectar can be substituted for real sugar (in which case double it).
Cinnamon can be substituted for cocoa powder.

My pancakes weren't the fluffiest pancakes I've ever had, but they were delicious. If you're also looking for a substitute for Maple Syrup (I know, you'd have to be crazy to do that!) you could try almond butter or apple butter. The apple butter goes really well if you have added cinnamon!

The site I got my recipe from was: http://www.buzzle.com/articles/pancakes-without-eggs.html

Something for Everyone

Did you know there is a website called "FarmersOnly.com"? It's a site for farmer hook-ups and ho-downs, and I don't mean trailer hitches and sing-alongs. It is  definitely a singles website dedicated to farmers and those living in the outskirts of a city looking for some country love.

I am absolutely serious. I saw it on Facebook.

A *Likely* Explanation

If you're wondering what "Two-Thirty-Four" is, I'm not sure I can accurately describe what it is besides that it is a number. It is probably a place; a location on a map, a latitude and a longitude. It is possibly a street number or a room number. It could be time at which to meet and the time it takes to get there. It might be the number of days before something or the number of days after. It may be a price and a bill, a page number, the number on a paint chip or the number of jelly beans in a jar. My guess is that is the number of M&M's I could eat in under a minute. Essentially, it has the potential to be everything, anything, or nothing at all.

Its true meaning is something that will *likely* remain my dorky secret, but I will tell you it has something to do with one of my favourite things. So this blog is meant to be everything to me, anything to you, nothing to people who don't read it. And it will be one of my favourite things. It is the essence of 234.